"Lush" and other drugs

This is something that's been bothering me for a little while now, and I had to write about it, in the end!  Although I know they are very popular at the moment, and the founders even got honoured in the New Years Honours List, I simply cannot stand those Lush Cosmetics shops!

Why?  For two reasons - allow me to explain…

Firstly, the aroma…  The smell of these shops is quite nauseating - the combination of dozens of different varieties of bath bombs, bars of soap, novelty shower gels, and fizzy foam that makes your hair sparkle, oll available in a range of flavours and scents, in close proximity, creates a fug of unpalatable gasses liable to cause asphyxiation to anyone lingering too long near the open doorway…

This problem is particularly bad, it is worth noting, in my own hometown of Norwich…  In Norwich, we have a branch of Lush Cosmetics, and it's situated right opposite Norwich Market…  Time was, you could walk the length of Norwich Market, inhaling the beautiful scent of a rich variety of fish'n'chip stalls cooking glorious Two Star Chips all the way…  There is no greater aroma, I am sure you'll agree, than traditional British fish'n'chips cooking, lingering tantalisingly on a very slight breeze, tempting even those who have just finished eating to order a portion…  Now the wonderful smells of the chip stalls on the market are gone forever - masked by the overpowering pungency of the Lush Cosmetics shop opposite!

The second reason, though, is the kind of people that these places attract…  Without wishing to offend any of my readers who might patronise such establishments, the Lush Cosmetics shops do seem to be populated mainly (although, it is worth pointing out, not exclusively) by hordes of a particular breed of waif-like, beret-wearing, hippie-stroke-indie teenage girls who think they're too damn good to look at you!

So please, for goodness' sake, let's get rid of these terrible places, and replace them all with banks, or fish'n'chip shops, or strip clubs, as soon as possible!  (Or some crazy, wild combination, with a strip club inside a fish'n'chip shop, perhaps?  How would that work, exactly?  It's a genius idea, there's no denying - but probably a topic for another post…)