Why does it matter how Jeremy Corbyn dresses? Given all the many other things of which one can accuse the leader of the Labour Party, his somewhat scruffy attire is surely one of the least objectionable things about him?
Well, maybe so. But the outrage of Corbyn's supporters over David Cameron's remarks in Parliament during Wednesday's Prime Minister's Questions is still opportunistic, hypocritical opprobrium of the highest order.
Those who say that politics should be about ideas and policies, not about appearance – and that Cameron should be engaging with Corbyn's arguments, rather than making snide remarks about how he dresses – might have a point if they hadn't spent the past six years taking every opportunity to bring up irrelevant personal issues such as which school the Prime Minister went to, along with endless tedious references to the Bullingdon Club, photos of the Prime Minister in formal white tie attire (which are evidently supposed to make us think badly of him, for some reason), and an endless stream of increasingly tiresome 'PigGate' 'jokes' on social media.
The left-wing journalist and commentator Steve Topple wrote in The Independent that Cameron's use of 'personal attacks' against Corbyn proved the Prime Minister had 'lost it'. A quick check through Mr Topple's Twitter account reveals he's not above a few 'personal attacks' himself. It takes a special sort of unscrupulous chain-puller to deploy those kind of tactics against someone for years, then get on your high horse the moment it is returned in kind.
But all of this rather misses the point. Because actually, Corbyn's appearance does matter.
Maybe it doesn't matter very much. Maybe it matters an awful lot less than Trident or Hamas or austerity or housing or anything like that. But it does matter.
Partly, of course, because how you choose to present yourself to the world matters. For anyone. Your clothes, your hair, the way you speak, how you act – all of these things send an instant message to people about what kind of person you are. In politics, where so much of the job is about communicating well, it is foolish to assume these things have no significance. As in any job, if you want people to take you seriously, start by taking yourself seriously – and show up looking like you actually give a damn.
But also because, as Leader of the Opposition, Jeremy Corbyn is lining himself up as a potential next Prime Minister himself. He is asking an electorate to look at him, and choose him to be the person who represents Britain on a global stage. That's not a trivial thing.
Polling has shown us that one of the reasons Labour lost last year's general election is because the public simply didn't see Ed Miliband as a Prime Minister-in-waiting – and nobody could say he wasn't trying. In his ill-fitting, shabby brown jacket that looks like he picked it up in an Oxfam shop, voters don't see Jeremy Corbyn as someone who can go to the United Nations, or the G20, and make people take Great Britain seriously. Facing David Cameron across that dispatch box is an audition to be more than just a backbench MP agitating for fringe causes – to be a statesman. And Corbyn is not coming off well.
Showing posts with label the independent. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the independent. Show all posts
Friday, 26 February 2016
Thursday, 30 April 2015
If I were Prime Minister…
In the run-up to the 2015 General Election, the Independent have been asking 100 people what they would do if they were Prime Minister. These people include journalists, authors, sportsmen, musicians, political campaigners, and the like. Obviously, I'm slightly surprised – and more than a little hurt – not to have been asked to contribute to this… So, with exactly one week to go until Polling Day, I'm going to write my piece about it anyway, and publish it here.
If I were Prime Minister, I would introduce on-the-spot fines for anybody who lets a set of double doors close in the wrong order. Y'know how lots of double doors have one door with an outer 'lip', and one with an inner 'lip', and they fit nicely together if closed correctly? I can't understand how anyone can let double doors close behind them in the wrong order and walk nonchalantly away with nary a backward glance, so I propose stamping out this cavalier behaviour with fines of up to £150.
On issues of public health, I would make it a criminal offence not to use the tongs provided at a buffet. I would also make it a criminal offence to serve buffet food without providing tongs. Either of these could elicit a jail sentence of up to six months. Further to this, it would be mandatory for all public buildings to include at least one basin with a foot-operated tap.
On education, I would ensure that university students pay twice as much for their drinks in bars and pubs as anybody else. University is a place for learning, not just a three-year-long excuse to get drunk, and students get plenty of concessions in other areas – such as clothes retailers offering student discounts, no council tax payments, and free cheeseburgers at McDonald's. I'm sure the rest of us would relish the opportunity to have a drink in a pub without a bunch of rowdy students shouting, doing 'shots' and having 'fun'.
Expanding on an idea I first proposed on this Blog several months ago, any business putting out their special Christmas-themed TV adverts or billboard advertising before the last week in November would see their corporation tax payments double as a result. There is simply no need for companies to start ramming Christmas down our throats in mid-October! While on the topic of advertising, I would ban all television adverts which anthropomorphise food.
No one would be allowed to turn right on the Ring Road; it causes far too many delays. If you want to go right, you'll have to go left, left, and left again.
I would introduce standardised flavour colours for crisp packets. It is far too confusing for some companies to make Salt'n'Vinegar packets green and Cheese'n'Onion packets blue, while other companies have Cheese'n'Onion crisps in green packets and Salt'n'Vinegar in blue ones. These guidelines will be set down by a new Minister For Crisps And Snacks, who will also be in charge of ensuring even distribution of flavours in 'Multipack' crisps (except Prawn Cocktail, because nobody likes it).
Finally, I would hold a referendum on holding a referendum on Europe. Opinion is divided on whether we should have a referendum on Britain's membership of the European Union or not, and so I believe the best and most democratic way to gauge the public mood on this matter is have a referendum on whether or not we should have the referendum – however, this would not be in any way binding upon my government.
Obviously, these proposals are just a taste of the decent, common sense policies for hardworking men and women which my government would introduce. A full copy of the UKIT Manifesto (no, that doesn't stand for anything – it's just a bit like UKIP but with my name in it instead, and much better policies) is available on request.
If I were Prime Minister, I would introduce on-the-spot fines for anybody who lets a set of double doors close in the wrong order. Y'know how lots of double doors have one door with an outer 'lip', and one with an inner 'lip', and they fit nicely together if closed correctly? I can't understand how anyone can let double doors close behind them in the wrong order and walk nonchalantly away with nary a backward glance, so I propose stamping out this cavalier behaviour with fines of up to £150.
 |
| That'll be 150 quid, mate. |
On issues of public health, I would make it a criminal offence not to use the tongs provided at a buffet. I would also make it a criminal offence to serve buffet food without providing tongs. Either of these could elicit a jail sentence of up to six months. Further to this, it would be mandatory for all public buildings to include at least one basin with a foot-operated tap.
On education, I would ensure that university students pay twice as much for their drinks in bars and pubs as anybody else. University is a place for learning, not just a three-year-long excuse to get drunk, and students get plenty of concessions in other areas – such as clothes retailers offering student discounts, no council tax payments, and free cheeseburgers at McDonald's. I'm sure the rest of us would relish the opportunity to have a drink in a pub without a bunch of rowdy students shouting, doing 'shots' and having 'fun'.
Expanding on an idea I first proposed on this Blog several months ago, any business putting out their special Christmas-themed TV adverts or billboard advertising before the last week in November would see their corporation tax payments double as a result. There is simply no need for companies to start ramming Christmas down our throats in mid-October! While on the topic of advertising, I would ban all television adverts which anthropomorphise food.
No one would be allowed to turn right on the Ring Road; it causes far too many delays. If you want to go right, you'll have to go left, left, and left again.
I would introduce standardised flavour colours for crisp packets. It is far too confusing for some companies to make Salt'n'Vinegar packets green and Cheese'n'Onion packets blue, while other companies have Cheese'n'Onion crisps in green packets and Salt'n'Vinegar in blue ones. These guidelines will be set down by a new Minister For Crisps And Snacks, who will also be in charge of ensuring even distribution of flavours in 'Multipack' crisps (except Prawn Cocktail, because nobody likes it).
Finally, I would hold a referendum on holding a referendum on Europe. Opinion is divided on whether we should have a referendum on Britain's membership of the European Union or not, and so I believe the best and most democratic way to gauge the public mood on this matter is have a referendum on whether or not we should have the referendum – however, this would not be in any way binding upon my government.
Obviously, these proposals are just a taste of the decent, common sense policies for hardworking men and women which my government would introduce. A full copy of the UKIT Manifesto (no, that doesn't stand for anything – it's just a bit like UKIP but with my name in it instead, and much better policies) is available on request.
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