Showing posts with label jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jokes. Show all posts
Thursday, 12 September 2013
Tuesday, 20 August 2013
I am officially the funniest person at #EdFringe
Today, TV channel Dave announced the 'funniest joke of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival' - a joke by comedian Rob Auton, which goes like this:
Admittedly, I didn't have the platform the the Edinburgh Fringe Festival to publicise my joke - I just posted it on Twitter - but as you can see, I was doing this joke as far back as March 2011:
In total, I have Tweeted the joke four times (three times publicly, once to drummer and producer Craig Blundell):
I will admit that Mr Auton's version is rather better worded (he is a professional comedian, after all) - but no one can really deny that this is, in essentials, the same joke. And that I got there first.
Where's my prize?
"I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar. Could be a Chinese Wispa."Very funny. I should know - I wrote this joke more than two years ago.
Admittedly, I didn't have the platform the the Edinburgh Fringe Festival to publicise my joke - I just posted it on Twitter - but as you can see, I was doing this joke as far back as March 2011:
I am going to make a bubbly milk chocolate bar, with a layer of sweet'n'sour sauce, and market it as a Chinese Wispa...
— Kit Marsden (@manek43509) March 26, 2011
In total, I have Tweeted the joke four times (three times publicly, once to drummer and producer Craig Blundell):
I will admit that Mr Auton's version is rather better worded (he is a professional comedian, after all) - but no one can really deny that this is, in essentials, the same joke. And that I got there first.
Where's my prize?
Thursday, 27 December 2012
Tuesday, 25 December 2012
Christmas leftovers recipes
Need to find ways to use up all your unwanted, outmoded Christmas food? Here are a few ideas and suggestions to help out...
I would like to make it clear, in the third line down, that "a quarter of a pint of gun" is a typing error - this is, of course, meant to say "a quarter of a pint of gin". Unfortunately, these are made up of Tweets from over a year ago, meaning it is not possible to edit the text now.
I would like to make it clear, in the third line down, that "a quarter of a pint of gun" is a typing error - this is, of course, meant to say "a quarter of a pint of gin". Unfortunately, these are made up of Tweets from over a year ago, meaning it is not possible to edit the text now.
Monday, 30 April 2012
#Snooker's dark secret
A little fictional indulgence, for anyone who missed this "short story" on Twitter last night.
Disclaimer: the people and events mentioned here are entirely fictional, and any resemblance to real life is purely coincidence.
Sunday, 13 March 2011
Check your jokes
It is my belief that a joke can only be funny if it is also factually accurate...
Allow me to share a joke which I feel illustrates this point rather well -
Why did the mushroom go to the party?
Because he was a fungi!
(This joke was particularly popular, I remember, when I was at high school... Something about it bothered me, even then - now, I can explain what, exactly, that is...)
So, initially, this seems like a nice idea... Y'know, fungi - mushrooms, etc - and fun guy - a pleasant, sociable chap who'd probably enjoy a good party... Could be good, right?
But there's a problem with this, isn't there? The problem being that "fungi" is a plural, while "a fun guy" is a singular person...
In order to make the joke work, you'd have to say -
Why did the mushroom go to the party?
Because he was a fungus!
Now, that would simply draw blank looks and bemused hand gestures, because it simply isn't funny... "A fun gus"...? That would only work if the name of this fun guy were Augustus - or Gus, for short! And for that to be apparent, you'd have to point it out beforehand, which would rather ruin the joke...
On the other hand, you could say this -
Why did the mushrooms go to the party?
Because they were fungi!
Again, that's not funny! "Because they were fun guy"...? What tosh!!
So yes - in my opinion, unless a joke can be accurate, it simply isn't going to amuse... If you're trying to write a joke, and you end up in a situation like this, please, just give up! It was a lovely thought, but it just isn't going to work - so try to forget it, and move on...
Allow me to share a joke which I feel illustrates this point rather well -
Why did the mushroom go to the party?
Because he was a fungi!
(This joke was particularly popular, I remember, when I was at high school... Something about it bothered me, even then - now, I can explain what, exactly, that is...)
So, initially, this seems like a nice idea... Y'know, fungi - mushrooms, etc - and fun guy - a pleasant, sociable chap who'd probably enjoy a good party... Could be good, right?
But there's a problem with this, isn't there? The problem being that "fungi" is a plural, while "a fun guy" is a singular person...
In order to make the joke work, you'd have to say -
Why did the mushroom go to the party?
Because he was a fungus!
Now, that would simply draw blank looks and bemused hand gestures, because it simply isn't funny... "A fun gus"...? That would only work if the name of this fun guy were Augustus - or Gus, for short! And for that to be apparent, you'd have to point it out beforehand, which would rather ruin the joke...
On the other hand, you could say this -
Why did the mushrooms go to the party?
Because they were fungi!
Again, that's not funny! "Because they were fun guy"...? What tosh!!
So yes - in my opinion, unless a joke can be accurate, it simply isn't going to amuse... If you're trying to write a joke, and you end up in a situation like this, please, just give up! It was a lovely thought, but it just isn't going to work - so try to forget it, and move on...
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