I just can't help myself, can I?!
Firstly, I would say that whatever your views on the concept of Royalty, or on the media's extraordinary "hype" over this event, anyone who would actively wish a couple ill on their wedding day is absoultely out of line...
And secondly, to the braying fools on social media today, if you really believe that "patriotism" and "racism" are synonyms, then it is you who are ignorant and misinformed...
Good day
Friday, 29 April 2011
Thursday, 28 April 2011
I promised myself I wouldn't Blog about the Royal Wedding...
...but now look what's happened!
I am noticing a certain amount of anti-Royal Wedding sentiment floating around, and, if I'm honest, it's making me rather uncomfortable; I don't feel that William and Kate deserve the kind of stick they've been getting from some quarters... I don't want to sound too cheesy, but I think if two people who love each other get married, that is something to be celebrated - whether they be Royal or not...
This post is somewhat inspired by a Tweet by comedian Chris Addison (of whom I am normally a big fan) about the wedding, which said -
Yes, I understand that this particularly item of news may not interest everyone, but is there really any need for this persistent moaning? In my opinion, it's unnecessary, and actually quite disrespectful...
So, enjoy the wedding celebrations tomorrow - or ignore them, if you wish - but for goodness' sake, keep your whingeing negativity to yourself; it is of no benefit to anyone!
I am noticing a certain amount of anti-Royal Wedding sentiment floating around, and, if I'm honest, it's making me rather uncomfortable; I don't feel that William and Kate deserve the kind of stick they've been getting from some quarters... I don't want to sound too cheesy, but I think if two people who love each other get married, that is something to be celebrated - whether they be Royal or not...
This post is somewhat inspired by a Tweet by comedian Chris Addison (of whom I am normally a big fan) about the wedding, which said -
Seriously, if people whom I actually know and like gave me this much info on their wedding in advance I wouldn't go.OK, fair enough... But I'm guessing that if people you actually knew and liked told you about their wedding, and you reacted in such a surly and ungracious way, they probably wouldn't be your friends for much longer!
Yes, I understand that this particularly item of news may not interest everyone, but is there really any need for this persistent moaning? In my opinion, it's unnecessary, and actually quite disrespectful...
So, enjoy the wedding celebrations tomorrow - or ignore them, if you wish - but for goodness' sake, keep your whingeing negativity to yourself; it is of no benefit to anyone!
Monday, 25 April 2011
D'you know what really parks me up the wall?
This is most infuriating...
I drive to the shop, and turn into the carpark, to see only a few spaces remaining... I find somewhere to park, but the person who's parked in the next space along unbelievable halfwit who can't manage to place his Renault Clio in the generously spacious gap between two easy-to-spot white lines on the ground...
As a result, I also have to park taking up more than one space, because this moron's cretinous parking is forcing me over too much to fit just in the space I selected... I'd love to go and find another space, without all these problems, but the shop and its carpark are very busy today, and there aren't many others to choose from...
All-in-all, the situation looks a bit like this -
Then, no sooner have I locked the car, and walked away (hiding my face as best I can, deeply ashamed of my parking, but knowing there's very little I can do about it!) the guy in the car to my left comes and puts his shopping in the boot, and drives off, leaving everyone else thinking that I'm the idiot who can't park a car properly!
I drive to the shop, and turn into the carpark, to see only a few spaces remaining... I find somewhere to park, but the person who's parked in the next space along unbelievable halfwit who can't manage to place his Renault Clio in the generously spacious gap between two easy-to-spot white lines on the ground...
As a result, I also have to park taking up more than one space, because this moron's cretinous parking is forcing me over too much to fit just in the space I selected... I'd love to go and find another space, without all these problems, but the shop and its carpark are very busy today, and there aren't many others to choose from...
All-in-all, the situation looks a bit like this -
Then, no sooner have I locked the car, and walked away (hiding my face as best I can, deeply ashamed of my parking, but knowing there's very little I can do about it!) the guy in the car to my left comes and puts his shopping in the boot, and drives off, leaving everyone else thinking that I'm the idiot who can't park a car properly!
Wednesday, 6 April 2011
This item is not suitable for Tumblr driers
I'm rather afraid to say, Tumblr annoys me no end!
Some people spend hours and hours on Tumblr, posting things… Mostly it is something "funny" (the inverted commas here are crucial) and it has been "reblogged" from a hundred other Tumblr users who all saw it, sniggered, and decided to post it on their profiles too… The result being that the same "funny" posts (again, please note the inverted commas) appear on many different people's Tumblr pages…
But that's fine… If you want to spend your time re-telling other people's jokes, please, be my guest!
What's not so fine is when people link their Tumblr to their Twitter, or their Facebook… Every Tumblr post is automatically added to Facebook and Twitter, with a link, and it clogs up the feed… People are posting genuine Tweets, and Facebook Status updates, but they get lost amidst a sea of Tumblr posts…
And yes, I realise that I, too, have things which post automatically to Facebook, and to Twitter, which some people may not be interested in - but these are things like my 365 Project or Dailybooth (and this Blog, actually) which is a mere one or two posts a day, and can easily be ignored… Some of these Tumblr people are posting ten or twenty things every hour, for hours on end - it is a bit different!
Seriously - if I wanted to see all that stuff, I'd follow you on Tumblr!! But I don't…
Some people spend hours and hours on Tumblr, posting things… Mostly it is something "funny" (the inverted commas here are crucial) and it has been "reblogged" from a hundred other Tumblr users who all saw it, sniggered, and decided to post it on their profiles too… The result being that the same "funny" posts (again, please note the inverted commas) appear on many different people's Tumblr pages…
But that's fine… If you want to spend your time re-telling other people's jokes, please, be my guest!
What's not so fine is when people link their Tumblr to their Twitter, or their Facebook… Every Tumblr post is automatically added to Facebook and Twitter, with a link, and it clogs up the feed… People are posting genuine Tweets, and Facebook Status updates, but they get lost amidst a sea of Tumblr posts…
And yes, I realise that I, too, have things which post automatically to Facebook, and to Twitter, which some people may not be interested in - but these are things like my 365 Project or Dailybooth (and this Blog, actually) which is a mere one or two posts a day, and can easily be ignored… Some of these Tumblr people are posting ten or twenty things every hour, for hours on end - it is a bit different!
Seriously - if I wanted to see all that stuff, I'd follow you on Tumblr!! But I don't…
Saturday, 26 March 2011
Guess the glasses advert
I've started playing a new game, when I'm watching television… It's called Guess The Glasses Advert…
I thought the point of advertising was to make your company stand out from the competition… This doesn't actually work, though, if all the major competitors in one field seem to be using the same advertising concept to sell themselves!
There are several major chains of opticians in the UK, and these days, all their adverts seem to go along the same lines…
They go something like this -
If you can guess whether the advert is for SpecSavers, Boots Opticians, Vision Express, or whatever, before you get to Step Four, you win eleven points!
I thought the point of advertising was to make your company stand out from the competition… This doesn't actually work, though, if all the major competitors in one field seem to be using the same advertising concept to sell themselves!
There are several major chains of opticians in the UK, and these days, all their adverts seem to go along the same lines…
They go something like this -
- People in a normal situation
- Comic confusion obviously caused by myopia occurs
- Embarrassment and awkwardness ensue
- Optician's logo and slogan appear on screen
If you can guess whether the advert is for SpecSavers, Boots Opticians, Vision Express, or whatever, before you get to Step Four, you win eleven points!
Sunday, 13 March 2011
Check your jokes
It is my belief that a joke can only be funny if it is also factually accurate...
Allow me to share a joke which I feel illustrates this point rather well -
Why did the mushroom go to the party?
Because he was a fungi!
(This joke was particularly popular, I remember, when I was at high school... Something about it bothered me, even then - now, I can explain what, exactly, that is...)
So, initially, this seems like a nice idea... Y'know, fungi - mushrooms, etc - and fun guy - a pleasant, sociable chap who'd probably enjoy a good party... Could be good, right?
But there's a problem with this, isn't there? The problem being that "fungi" is a plural, while "a fun guy" is a singular person...
In order to make the joke work, you'd have to say -
Why did the mushroom go to the party?
Because he was a fungus!
Now, that would simply draw blank looks and bemused hand gestures, because it simply isn't funny... "A fun gus"...? That would only work if the name of this fun guy were Augustus - or Gus, for short! And for that to be apparent, you'd have to point it out beforehand, which would rather ruin the joke...
On the other hand, you could say this -
Why did the mushrooms go to the party?
Because they were fungi!
Again, that's not funny! "Because they were fun guy"...? What tosh!!
So yes - in my opinion, unless a joke can be accurate, it simply isn't going to amuse... If you're trying to write a joke, and you end up in a situation like this, please, just give up! It was a lovely thought, but it just isn't going to work - so try to forget it, and move on...
Allow me to share a joke which I feel illustrates this point rather well -
Why did the mushroom go to the party?
Because he was a fungi!
(This joke was particularly popular, I remember, when I was at high school... Something about it bothered me, even then - now, I can explain what, exactly, that is...)
So, initially, this seems like a nice idea... Y'know, fungi - mushrooms, etc - and fun guy - a pleasant, sociable chap who'd probably enjoy a good party... Could be good, right?
But there's a problem with this, isn't there? The problem being that "fungi" is a plural, while "a fun guy" is a singular person...
In order to make the joke work, you'd have to say -
Why did the mushroom go to the party?
Because he was a fungus!
Now, that would simply draw blank looks and bemused hand gestures, because it simply isn't funny... "A fun gus"...? That would only work if the name of this fun guy were Augustus - or Gus, for short! And for that to be apparent, you'd have to point it out beforehand, which would rather ruin the joke...
On the other hand, you could say this -
Why did the mushrooms go to the party?
Because they were fungi!
Again, that's not funny! "Because they were fun guy"...? What tosh!!
So yes - in my opinion, unless a joke can be accurate, it simply isn't going to amuse... If you're trying to write a joke, and you end up in a situation like this, please, just give up! It was a lovely thought, but it just isn't going to work - so try to forget it, and move on...
Thursday, 10 February 2011
Karaoke ring of DEATH!
This is my first time participating in a fun game - sorry, a MATTER OF LIFE-AND-DEATH - devised by my friends over at 20 Something Bloggers...
Everyone who enters makes a video of themselves singing a song, usually on a theme - this time, the theme is "Love or Anti-Love" - then each Blogger posts a different Blogger's video on his or her Blog... D'you see?
It is my delightful task to post a video by the lovely Coyote Rose, performing Nancy Sinatra's "These Boots Were Made For Walking", complete with full dance routine - so, here it is!
(I have also been ask to apologise for the behaviour of Steve - Rose's hair - in this video... I am given to believe he was "being a bitch"... Steve, how could you?!)
So, as the lady said, don't forget to check out the other Karaoke Bloggers from this month! If you want to brave my rendition of Porcupine Tree's "Pure Narcotic", you can view that here on Neal's Blog... A full list of all the Karaoke Blog links is available now on Sara's Blog - and HERE IT IS!
Hope you all enjoyed that - we will now return you to your regularly scheduled programming of cynicism, misanthropy and pedantry!
Everyone who enters makes a video of themselves singing a song, usually on a theme - this time, the theme is "Love or Anti-Love" - then each Blogger posts a different Blogger's video on his or her Blog... D'you see?
It is my delightful task to post a video by the lovely Coyote Rose, performing Nancy Sinatra's "These Boots Were Made For Walking", complete with full dance routine - so, here it is!
(I have also been ask to apologise for the behaviour of Steve - Rose's hair - in this video... I am given to believe he was "being a bitch"... Steve, how could you?!)
So, as the lady said, don't forget to check out the other Karaoke Bloggers from this month! If you want to brave my rendition of Porcupine Tree's "Pure Narcotic", you can view that here on Neal's Blog... A full list of all the Karaoke Blog links is available now on Sara's Blog - and HERE IT IS!
Hope you all enjoyed that - we will now return you to your regularly scheduled programming of cynicism, misanthropy and pedantry!
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