Thursday 22 April 2010

Electioneering (part one)

OK, I'm gonna go ahead and open with a disclaimer, here...

I'm sure that many people are already blogging away on the topic of the General Election - and most of them will be more intelligent, more informed, and more eloquent than I...  (Maybe some of them have even beaten me to the Radiohead joke!)  These are not meant to be heavyweight political blogs - of course, I have serious points to make, and I have real opinions to put forward - but please try not to get all hot under the collar if I say something you disagree with...  Proportional Representation is silly...  Why?  I don't have to give a reason - I'm a blogger, not a politician!

So, my first thoughts on this 2010 Election Campaign are as follows...

Oh my God, people!  Stop it with the Clegg already!!

Nick Clegg is a nice guy...  I know - I've met him...  He's also a good public speaker, and, to the best of my knowledge, an honest politician, doing what he believes is right...  This sudden Lib Dem fever, on the other hand, is totally mad...

I should say, that I'm not at all taking a pop at actual Liberal Democrat activists...  I know people who've been Lib Dem supporters for years - good for them!  (They're nuts, of course - but good for them!)

What I'm talking about, is this...  Observe the following Facebook group -

We got Rage Against the Machine to #1, we can get the Lib Dems into office!

Fairly popular, isn't it?  Over 130,000 members, right?  But it's ridiculous...

Firstly, who is this "we"?  I certainly didn't get Rage Against the Machine to #1 - and I shan't be getting the Lib Dems into office...  Stop trying include me in your crazy populist movements!

But a far more important issue is the way this seems to put the General Election on a level with the Christmas Number One...

The scheme to get "Killing In The Name" to the Number One spot in time for Christmas was essentially so that we, the great, record-buying public, could thumb our collective noses at Simon Cowell, and all that he stands for in the pop music world...  And that's all very well, if that how people want to spend their time and money...

But, by all means, screw with the music charts if you like - nothing really terrible will happen...  But doing the same with a General Election, where the future of our country is at stake, is madness!

Please - consider the policies of the party you plan to vote for...

The Lib Dems say they plan to raise the Personal Tax Allowance...  Like that idea?  Perhaps you should vote for them!  Don't like that idea?  Don't vote for them!

Is it really worth burdening the nation with a party you may not actually like, for the sake of a gesture?

Monday 5 April 2010

Tellyrant the Third

Am I getting older and grumpier?  Or are adverts on TV getting rubbisher and rubbisher?

To be honest, I suspect a healthy dollop of both...  So I'm going to talk about a something which has been particularly proficient in the caprine attainment area recently...

Babies...  Is there anything creepier?  OK, babies, at any times, are slightly unsettling - but in some adverts, it's grudgingly acceptable to use babies...  Adverts for nappies, particularly, have a certain claim to legitimate use of babies...  But the Pizza Hut advert where the baby comes downstairs on its own and shouts at its parents?  Yes, that is the stuff nightmares are made of...!

It's the same story with that Evian Mineral Water advert, with the babies who are on roller-skates, or skateboards, or something...  Generally, it's babies acting like adults - or at least older kids...  And that's supposed to make me buy bottled water??  How?!

Please, all companies - whatever you make, whatever you sell - take note...  Talking babies do not a good advert make!!

Some adverts use older children - it's not so scary when they talk, of course, because most children can actually talk, in real life...  But why do they always pick children with the most irritating voices?  I remember being a reasonably articulate child - and I remember hanging out with other reasonably articulate children...  So how come these companies, and advertising agencies, pick the kids with the most child-like, "I only learnt to talk half an hour ago" voices?  It's actually quite painful to watch, and, indeed, to hear...

On a more positive note, there is one advert I've seen a few times recently which I think is fantastic...  (Obviously, I rarely, if ever, think an advert is any good at all, so this is quite exciting!)  It is the latest offering from opticians Specsavers - the one which cleverly makes you think it's going to be advert for Lynx deodorant sprays, right up until the last scene...  Here it is -