Sunday, 30 January 2011

The dating switchboard

I'm thinking of having a switchboard system fitted to my phone, for when I call girls I've met to ask them on a date...  It must get very tedious for these poor young ladies to have to think up reasons to say "no" all the time - much better for all concerned, I think, if everyone's favourite excuses are easily available, at the touch of a button!

A 'phone call would go something like this...

Hi, I'm Kit - we met at a bar in the city on Saturday?

When she responds to this opening gambit, an automated voice takes over...

If you already have a boyfriend, press 1

If you have recently been through a break-up, and "just need some space", press 2

If you thought I "seemed really nice", but you're "not looking to date anyone right now", press 3

Press 4 if you're busy on any or all of the dates I suggest

Press 5 if you're in a "complicated relationship"

If your job and/or degree doesn't leave you any time for dating, press 6

Press 7 if you "don't think it will work" (for whatever reason)

To change the subject and just avoid the issue all the time, press 8

Or if you actually want to be honest with me, press the # key to hang up

See?  How much easier is that?!


MrsCaptKerk said...

Press 9 if you're washing your hair...for an eternity...

Anonymous said...

LMAO! Funny stuff right there.

Ivy Harrison said...

This is brilliant.

Coyote Rose said...

Press zero if you are actually willing to go out with me, and then I might have a heart attack

Anonymous said...

never let maya know this thing exists, kit. you'd never hear the last of it.

Anonymous said...

weird but really good idea. it would make these things much easier

Anonymous said...

hi kit its freya

no it's not
yes it is
seriously dont let maya find this

Kit Marsden said...

OK Freya, thanks for the advice. :)

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