I'm thinking of having a switchboard system fitted to my phone, for when I call girls I've met to ask them on a date... It must get very tedious for these poor young ladies to have to think up reasons to say "no" all the time - much better for all concerned, I think, if everyone's favourite excuses are easily available, at the touch of a button!
A 'phone call would go something like this...
Hi, I'm Kit - we met at a bar in the city on Saturday?
When she responds to this opening gambit, an automated voice takes over...
If you already have a boyfriend, press 1
If you have recently been through a break-up, and "just need some space", press 2
If you thought I "seemed really nice", but you're "not looking to date anyone right now", press 3
Press 4 if you're busy on any or all of the dates I suggest
Press 5 if you're in a "complicated relationship"
If your job and/or degree doesn't leave you any time for dating, press 6
Press 7 if you "don't think it will work" (for whatever reason)
To change the subject and just avoid the issue all the time, press 8
Or if you actually want to be honest with me, press the # key to hang up
See? How much easier is that?!