Valentine's Day menu, 2012

Pan-fried ribeye steak with coarsely chopped red onions, with a blue cheese and brandy pouring sauce.

Served with homemade potato and sweet potato chips and a large flat mushroom, topped with Colston Bassett Stilton and toasted breadcrumbs.

Meals on wheels

A little while ago, I posted this picture on Facebook, showing how a Sainsbury's "Taste The Difference" BLT sandwich fits perfectly in the CD holder of my Mondeo.

 

As this image included all of the manliest things in the world in one place (cars, bacon, and DIY) it garnered quite a lot of interest, and ended up with quite a few comments and "likes".  One of those comments asked me for advice on eating sandwiches in the car, and I am planning to give a few tips on this topic, based on my experiences of eating in the car, now.

Tip one.  Choose carefully:

Choose a filling which is conducive to being consumed in the car.  Remember that you will only be able to hold this sandwich with one hand, so it is important that your filling isn't just going to fall out as soon as you take it out of the packet.  Mayonnaise, or some similar condiment typical in sandwiches, is good, as it acts as an adhesive, to keep your filling where it ought to be.  (But too much will drip, and cause a terrible mess - so be careful when making your selection!)

Despite featuring in the picture that triggered this whole thing, tomatoes are not always a good choice, because the centres are wont to go everywhere, unless you catch the whole thing at once.

Any filling that comes in lots of little bits is not usually a good idea.  So, choose cheese slices over grated cheese, as it will be much easier to control with just one hand.


Tip two.  Eat inwards:

Most shop-bought (or petrol station-bought) sandwiches come in the form of large triangles.  Like this -

If you're holding the sandwich at the base (in this diagram, the top point) it's the corners where you're most vulnerable to losing filling.  So, you should get rid of them first, thus -

With the corners gone, eat from the top of the sandwich in towards the point at the base, where you are holding it.


Tip three.  Eat quickly:

Dawdling over your sandwich will not help.  Take large bites, and get rid of it quickly.  Don't fret too much about table manners - you're in the car.


I hope that has helped all you car-eaters out there!  If not, fire me your questions in the comments, and I'll see if I can help.

Pimp my pizza

So, this evening, I cooked a pizza. A standard, ready-made pizza from Sainsbury's - you stick it in the oven for twelve minutes, then consume with ravenous abandon - you know the type.

Ten minutes after eating the pizza, I realised I was still hungry. (If you follow me on Twitter, you'll know this isn't as uncommon as it probably ought to be.) Remembering there was another, identical pizza in the fridge, I decided to cook that one as well.

The prospect of another eight slices of margarita, however, seemed somewhat dull, so I decided to "pimp out" the Sainsbury's pizza with a few additions of my own.

I sliced some mushrooms and onions that I found in the fridge, and added those to basis Sainsbury's had provided, along with some chunks of Stilton cheese.

After another twelve minutes, my creation was ready to eat.

Apart from using the phrase "pimped out" (eugh!) I was actually rather proud of myself!

#Snow again

There is the finest layer of snow on the ground - more confectionery than weather, in appearance.  Not enough snow to have any significance, really.

These days, I am less enamoured of snow than I used to be.  I think it's a natural process, that we stop being amazed by the things around us, as we get older.  Things which used to be wondrous and exciting now seem mundane, or even irksome.

Snow seems to underline this, in a particular way, though.

I am comfortable with the idea that snow doesn't seem as exciting a prospect for me now as it did, say, six years ago.  What worries me is the idea that I might have reached that stage prematurely.

To think that I wake up to snowfall in the morning, and all I feel is worried - about traffic disruption, or about losing work opportunities as a result of the weather - is not, in itself, an alarming thing.  But when I realise that there are people five or six years older than I am who wake up to snow still feeling the excitement I remember from childhood I fear that I have aged too quickly.

Off to a good start...

My plan was to write a new Blog post on 1st January 2012, talking to people about new beginnings, and outlining a few New Year's resolutions of my own.  Well, it's now the 2nd of January, and only half-an-hour away from being the 3rd, so that's hardly an auspicious start, is it?  Nevertheless, I shall press on...

My New Year's Resolutions run as follows:

• I am going to write my Blog more regularly and more frequently.  (That one's going well already!)  And I'm going to include more diverse material - more "serious" stuff (about work) and analysis/reviews of things, as well as the usual whimsy.

• I am going to practise more.  And I'm talking about actual, proper practice - working on my technique, playing scales, learning things that I actually want to learn - not just learning the tracks I have to learn for whatever gigs or sessions I have coming up.

• I should like to do more piano gigs.  I love doing drumkit/percussion work, of course, but I would really like to start doing more regular gigs on piano/keyboards as well.  (You - yes, you - can help with this resolution, by hiring me for keyboard gigs!  Email me for for more information.)

• I am hoping to read more books.  I used to be an avid reader, but in recent years this has slipped, and I regret it.  Literature is hugely important, and I intent to reverse this trend over 2012.
  
• I will try to write more jokes.  I'm sure you're probably groaning at the thought, just from reading that - but I mean it.  I love comedy, and I wish I were able to be more involved it.  My one-liners and puns on Twitter are really my only decent outlet for this interest, so I hope I shall be able to make more of it.
  
• I will go to more comedy gigs.  Related to the previous point, of course - as I said, I love comedy, and I enjoy going to see comedians perform live.  In 2012, I shall make a point of making more time for this hobby.

So, there y'go!  Let's hope I can stick to these, and possibly revisit the subject during the year, to see how the Resolutions are progressing.

The run-up to Christmas

The following is an extract from the English-to-Retail Cretin Dictionary:

The run-up to Christmas (noun): any time after the end of the Back To School! promotion, typically mid-September.

Of course, for most of the rest of us, the run-up to Christmas has a slightly more reasonable start date.  Some favour the middle of November, whilst others of us try our hardest to hold out until the first week of December.  But all of this just compounds the problem, as I see it; Christmas shouldn't need a run-up at all.

Things which are difficult need a run-up.  If you need to jump over a particularly wide gap (for whatever reason that may be!) and you're not sure you're going to make it, you take a run-up.  Sportsmen need a run-up to try and maximise performance.  We use a run-up to gather momentum, when we know we will really need to exert ourselves.

Christmas shouldn't be like that.  We should be able to relax, at Christmas - to spend time with family and friends.  It should be a time to unwind, and enjoy ourselves.  We shouldn't need to take a run-up, before entering the fray, eyes wide, arms flailing, hoping only that we emerge unhurt at the other side.  We should be able to enjoy all the great things about Christmas - and there are many - without letting it get on top of us.

Personally, I feel it's much easier to enjoy Christmas - Christmas as it should be - without all the retail hype.  Without the run-up.

Heatwave decorum

So, I gather it's quite hot at the moment?

Unusually, for Britain, we are having an exceptionally warm Autumn, at the moment, with temperatures in excess of 30º at the end of September, and beginning of October.  Quite remarkable.  But let's not lose our heads, please…

Hot weather - at any time of year - is no excuse suddenly to act or look like a slob.  In the heat, people cease to care how they look, how they come across to others, what impressions they give.  And they are not ashamed; they do this with brazen impunity, and with barefaced disregard for all conventions of decency.

Nobody wants to see people walking down the street in revealing clothing which manages somehow to be both shapeless and far too tight, simultaneously.  Topless middle-aged men, their sweaty beer-guts gleaming in the sunlight, hair plastered to their chests with a combination of perspiration and cheap lager, waddling through town-centres in the middle of the day.

In winter, people retain some sense of style, and decorum.  They wear clothes with gravitas - coats, scarves, gloves.  But when the sun comes out, there is a wild notion that it has suddenly become acceptable to walk around with acres of ruddy bare flesh on show.

If the heat is making you uncomfortable - no one cares.  Please dress normally, and learn to bear the discomfort, rather than subjecting everyone else to your hideous summer wardrobe.